Terrible Tantrums
Woeful Whining
Searing Screeches
Yes - my little babe is definitely a toddler now. All actual toddling aside, Geekling now stubbornly asserts her will in several hard to handle ways. I've developed a few ways of dealing with her resistance techniques and try not to let situations get to the point where I have to drag her squirming, squealing, screechy self away. It can be especially difficult when she decides to go all She-Hulk and tear apart or throw whatever is nearest to her - usually with an angry grunt.
So far I talk and explain, use distraction, and just sit and reiterate things to her until she's reduced from a hard boil to a slow pouty simmer. So far these things have mostly worked, unless she's upset/sad/scared whereupon cuddling is required. I have found that Alfie Kohn's advice (from his Unconditional Parenting book that I've partially blogged about) to decide if something really needs to be done, or if I really need to say no, has helped.
Yesterday, Geekling was determined to do things her way...
She arched and fought being put in her car seat. I figured we could stick around and get something to eat.
She arched and fought being put in her stroller. I let her walk along pushing it or holding it instead.
She wanted to stop and play with the buckles. I redirected her to pushing.
She cried when we arrived at the restaurant/cafe because she wanted to keep pushing her stroller. I pointed out our friend that works there that Geekling likes (and who got us a table in a back corner where Geekling submitted to sitting in her stroller).
She whined and wanted her sandals off. I took them off as long as she stayed in her stroller.
She yanked off her hat. I let her, but got it on her once we were out in the sunshine.
She demanded to pull things off the table. I put a couple of her board books on the table and she pulled them off and restacked them over and over.
By and large, there was some complaining from her, but it was pretty tame as long as I stayed on top of it and didn't ignore her.
I don't expect her to be happy all the time, so I don't constantly focus on amusing her or making her smile. In fact, sometimes I try to reduce my interactions with her when she's in a certain mood, so that she'll do some of her own exploring and play. I do try and head off the whining and unhappy screeches.
Food is a problem though.
Geekling is our first and so I'm not entirely confident in my ability to tell if she's eaten enough or know if she's hungry. She still hasn't got many words. I don't want to force food on her, though she'll spit food out if she decides she doesn't want it anyway, but I'd rather not have her subsisting on Mini-Wheats. OK, *maybe* that's an exaggeration, but she does seem to only want to eat grains, cereals, milk and breaded chicken strips. This is aside from the battles at mealtimes over lids and containers, which she will insist on playing with if left in sight.
Last night was particularly trying. Geekling wouldn't eat much of anything except crackers and milk (a few quick spoonfuls of pear), though she demanded her share of a cookie when she saw TWN bring me one later. I'm a bit worried that food will become her way of asserting herself and she'll continue to reduce her list of approved foods. I'm also hesitant to serve the beloved spinach again after this.
Any suggestions?
I'd also be happy for any foods that would be easy for her to eat herself. She pulls sandwiches apart and won't eat raw veggie pieces (or cooked ones really)...
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Fruit was always easier to sell than veggies. Small pieces of fresh fruit like melon or berries (frozen blueberries, while messy, are awesome... high in antioxidants and a total finger food). We peeled and cut up apple into bite sized pieces, then sprinkled some cinnamon on top and microwaved until the pieces were warm and soft (like 20s-ish).
ReplyDeleteFor veggies, we still struggle, but baby cut carrots are a fave, as are sugar snap peas and plain fresh peas.
Ultimately, though, you will need to teach her to eat what you make, otherwise you'll be making different meals for her all the time. The reality is, if she doesn't want it, she's not going to be harmed by a single low-food meal.
I try to get her to eat pieces of my apple whenever I have one. When she first started to get teeth she used to demand my whole apple and then try to gnaw on it. She even managed to get little chunks out of the apple every now and then. Now she doesn't want it at all.
ReplyDeleteCarrots have never been accepted which is really annoying as they would be great for when she is teething and wants to _gnaw_ on something.
I like your suggestion for frozen blueberries and I suspect we'll give it a try.
Argghhhh! I left this great comment and when I went to log into Google, it disappeared. Basically, don't worry about your toddler getting enough to eat. As long as food is available, they won't let themselves starve and amazingly, though they sometimes appear to eat almost nothing sometimes, they do manage to get what they need. With new foods, keep serving them as little ones need to try a questionable new food several times before acquiring a taste for it. With toddlers, EVERYTHING is a phase so don't worry too much :)
ReplyDeleteI second (third) what SFD and The Caffeinatrix had to say: A few finicky mealtimes won't do her any harm. And keep trying with small portions of a variety of healthy foods. I know my oldest went through a period where he would only eat finger foods that weren't "slimy" or "wet". o.O
ReplyDeleteMy not-quite-two-year old is even pickier than his big brother was (or else I've blocked out the bad memories.)
But the rule at our house is that you eat what's in front of you ... or you don't eat. (Though I admit we do bend this rule on certain occasions.)
We do try to offer up at least one or two things at each meal that we "know" they will usually eat. But, sometimes, I just can't please Minion-the-Younger.
One day he loves something, the next he won't touch it with a ten-foot fork.
And, yeah, sometimes he eats the same thing three nights in a row because, hey, at least he's eating! :)
It can be exasperating.
But it gets better. :)
Hang in there.